The Science Behind Kindness
/A few weeks ago I found myself traveling to Queens to attend a family funeral. It's been a tough year and while in some important ways this was a blessing it was still a rough day. I'm not a great traveler anymore. Packing stresses me out and while I'm in awe of the airline industry and staff that get us from point A to point B safely I hate the stress of crowds and the uncertainty. I originally had a tight connection in Denver and changed to a later flight to give myself time. I'd rather sit in an airport than worry about missing a flight.
I found myself sitting in a super crowded food court and for some reason felt so sad and disconnected and a little lonely. Peter (my husband) had gone ahead of me so I was on my own. I missed him. I missed my cat. I missed my home. I was annoyed by everyone around me staring zombie-like into their dumb phones. Then I heard the nicest voice a few tables away. A woman, an airport employee, was wiping down tables, taking trays and asking people "Baby, do you need a seat?" She was calling everyone "Baby". She had the kindest voice. She was practically dancing with joy helping people find a place to eat in a busy crowd and keeping the food court tidy. I closed my eyes and listened to her for a few minutes and wanted so badly to tell her how she made me feel better. But as polished as I can be at work, I'm awkward in "real life". I can't always land what I'm trying to say.
I decided to walk past her on my way to my gate and let the universe decide what would happen next. As I approached her with my roller bag behind me, she looked up from cleaning a table, smiled and said "Baby, do you need any help?" I managed to say "I just wanted you to know you're the nicest person. I've been listening to you and you are really kind and it's helping me. I'm not having the best day." She touched my arm and said "Baby, do you need a hug." I told her that'd be nice.
This stranger bear-hugged me and when I started to cry she held me tighter. She prayed softly to her higher power for me and asked her god to bless me, to remove my obstacles and to get me safely where I needed to go. I'm not religious but it was the most beautiful and authentic prayer I've ever heard. She held me for two minutes and when I got it together she let go and looked at me and smiled and said "You're going to be ok, baby."
I don't know her name. I tried to find out who she is via the airport customer service office to say thank you. She may never know how her act of kindness helped me. Some people are just joy spreaders. Imagine if more people, myself included, tried every day to spread some joy and gratitude for what we have instead of constantly grappling for more or fearing losing something we already have? What if we just treated everyone in our path with kindness? In addition to making it a better world, what would the health benefits of all that kindness be? This got me thinking (I'm a trainer and not a theologist).
The Transformative Power of Kindness and Gratitude
Research consistently shows that kindness and gratitude are not just niceties; they are vital for our well-being. Here are several key health benefits of being kind:
Reduced Stress: Acts of kindness can lower stress levels. When we help others, our brains release neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, which promote feelings of happiness and connectedness.
Improved Mental Health: Engaging in kind acts may decrease feelings of anxiety and depression. The act of giving can boost our mood and foster a sense of purpose, enhancing overall emotional stability.
Strengthened Relationships: Kindness fosters connections with others. Whether it’s a hug from a stranger or showing gratitude to a friend, these interactions can strengthen social bonds, which are crucial for our mental health.
Enhanced Physical Health: Surprisingly, kindness can also have tangible effects on our physical health. Studies indicate that those who regularly engage in altruistic behaviors may experience lower blood pressure, reduced chronic pain and even longer life spans.
Promotes Positivity: Practicing gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have. This shift in mindset can create a more positive outlook on life, making us more resilient in the face of challenges.
Kindness and gratitude are powerful tools we can wield to improve our lives and the lives of others. The next time you encounter someone, remember the potential impact of a simple gesture. Together, let’s embrace kindness and gratitude, for our well-being and the connection we seek.